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Update November 2013

Quick update - investigation stage of my suspension is now over. Just waiting for an independent manager to decide whether it warrants a disciplinary. My rep thinks it shouldn't come to that as the most that I've done wrong is poor record keeping at times, which isn't a disciplinary offence. Pretty much I've been exonerated over the original allegation which was that I gave a patient the wrong advice (which I didn't). So I've been suspended for no real reason which I knew, but it's nice to have it verified a little. I've put in a grievance over the bullying I've experienced and my rep has basically said I can't go back to my previous job as it would be unsafe for me.

I'm feeling a lot better in myself as all the investigations have prove that I was completely mismanaged from the start and there was a complete failure on the trust and my managers part to help me properly. Counselling seems to be helping a little although I still get quite depressed and anxious at times, but at least there is a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel now.


I Am A: True Neutral Human Druid (5th Level)

Ability Scores:







True Neutral A true neutral character does what seems to be a good idea. He doesn't feel strongly one way or the other when it comes to good vs. evil or law vs. chaos. Most true neutral characters exhibit a lack of conviction or bias rather than a commitment to neutrality. Such a character thinks of good as better than evil after all, he would rather have good neighbors and rulers than evil ones. Still, he's not personally committed to upholding good in any abstract or universal way. Some true neutral characters, on the other hand, commit themselves philosophically to neutrality. They see good, evil, law, and chaos as prejudices and dangerous extremes. They advocate the middle way of neutrality as the best, most balanced road in the long run. True neutral is the best alignment you can be because it means you act naturally, without prejudice or compulsion. However, true neutral can be a dangerous alignment when it represents apathy, indifference, and a lack of conviction.

Humans are the most adaptable of the common races. Short generations and a penchant for migration and conquest have made them physically diverse as well. Humans are often unorthodox in their dress, sporting unusual hairstyles, fanciful clothes, tattoos, and the like.

Druids gain power not by ruling nature but by being at one with it. They hate the unnatural, including aberrations or undead, and destroy them where possible. Druids receive divine spells from nature, not the gods, and can gain an array of powers as they gain experience, including the ability to take the shapes of animals. The weapons and armor of a druid are restricted by their traditional oaths, not simply training. A druid's Wisdom score should be high, as this determines the maximum spell level that they can cast.

Find out What Kind of Dungeons and Dragons Character Would You Be?, courtesy of Easydamus (e-mail)

Detailed Results:

Lawful Good ----- XXXXXXXXXXXXXX (14)
Chaotic Good ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXXX (14)
Lawful Neutral -- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (18)
Chaotic Neutral - XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (18)
Lawful Evil ----- XXXXXXXXX (9)
Neutral Evil ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (15)
Chaotic Evil ---- XXXXXXXXX (9)

Law & Chaos:
Law ----- XXXXXX (6)
Neutral - XXXXXXXXXXXX (12)
Chaos --- XXXXXX (6)

Good & Evil:
Good ---- XXXXXXXX (8)
Neutral - XXXXXXXXXXXX (12)
Evil ---- XXX (3)

Human ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXX (13)
Dwarf ---- XXXXXXXX (8)
Elf ------ XXXXXXXX (8)
Gnome ---- XXXXXXXX (8)
Halfling - XXXXXX (6)
Half-Elf - XXXXXXXXX (9)
Half-Orc - XXXXXX (6)

Barbarian - (-2)
Bard ------ (-4)
Cleric ---- (-2)
Druid ----- XXXXXXXX (8)
Fighter --- (0)
Monk ------ (-19)
Paladin --- (-23)
Ranger ---- (-2)
Rogue ----- (-8)
Sorcerer -- XXXXXX (6)
Wizard ---- XXXX (4)

May update

Well, I've received another letter saying that I'm suspended for another 4 weeks. If it wasn't so serious and frustrating I could almost laugh. What a colossal waste of NHS money to have me off work on full pay for so long with no end in sight. It hasn't even got to to the investigatory stage yet, so I'm resigning myself to a long time off work. I don't know what will happen when it's all over as I really don't want to go back to that place again. I really need to rethink my career options, and even if I really want to continue in nursing. Lots of things to think about. On the positive side I've been assessed for counselling and they've accepted me to go on some behaviour treatment programme so hopefully that will help me further. 


Same old...

Not much different happening this week, other than Cory being very stressed as he had an ECG exam and then a management 5000 word essay to hand in electronically today.

Patrick became poorly on Thursday, really feverish and not well so Cory looked after him in the morning and I had my early finish then so took over when I got home. I had to take annual leave on Friday to look after him as he was even poorlier - poor little mite was sick. He spent half an hour just sleeping on some towels on the bathroom floor, he just didn't want to move. We gave karate a miss this weekend and thought he was getting better, but he's spiked a temp again and is coughing like mad and now Jethro's started as well. Thankfully I've got wonderful parents who have taken them both for the next couple of days as I think they'll both need that time to recover and Cory's got from Wednesday off if needed. So I know they're going to be well looked after, doesn't make me feel any less guilty though, even though I know it's necessary.

On other front, I really need to get more organised. Last year I was terrible, sending birthday cards off late and not at all, And I really need to get back on top of the housework again. I've rejoined FlyLady and hopefully will be able to start with the Baby Steps and work from there. I really don't like being this disorganised, unmotivated person but I'm trying to kick myself out of it.

Another year older...another year wiser?

Well I was going to start out with the good intentions of trying to do my lj at least every couple of days, but since it's now 7th Jan, it looks like I've already failed slightly :)

Life is very, very hectic at the moment. We had a good Christmas and quiet New Year which suited me down to the ground. Went to the cinema on my birthday to watch The Hobbit and afterwards tried to get a couple of drinks in Wakefield afterwards, but true to form (which normally happens on my birthday), pretty much everywhere was shut. The one pub that was open we got one drink in, but when we came to get another (at 10.45) they refused saying they were closing, immediately after having served the couple of regulars their beer. Whatever happened to shouting last orders? So Henry Boons at Wakefield is now on our black list. I suppose it's quite sad but we have a personal black list of places we won't go or buy from because the customer service has been so shoddy.

Busy weekend, took Patrick for his karate lesson on Saturday, and then on Sunday he had his grading. He got a second class red belt, which considering he's only been doing it for a few months was really good. He loves it, and I do like the instructors, so full of enthusiasm for the children. Really motivating them and encouraging them to be confident and defend themselves if needed. Unfortunately that night Patrick and Jethro were playing on Patrick's bed ( or should I say bouncing) whereby there was a collision where Jethro banged his head against the wooden frame leaving him with a deep laceration over his left eye. Cue bye bye efficient nurse and hello traumatised mummy! Cory was getting ready for his night shift so I had to take both kids to Pinderfields A and E, which fortunately has a paediatric side and paediatric waiting area which wasn't too busy, although I think the actual cubicle side of it was a lot busier. Jethro was very good and sat on my knee like a good one as the nurse practitioner glued his head.

Cory's getting to a manic phase of his masters - he decided to do two modules concurrently so he has an ECG exam this Wednesday and then an essay of 5000 words to be submitted before Jan 14th, so consequently he's very stressed and focusing mainly on his coursework which puts more pressure on me. I know it's only a temporary phase but it's hard to see past the now sometimes.

As for me, I've been in my new job 6 months. I really wish I could be enthusiastic and say I love my job, but I don't. I really don't know whether it's the full time working, the community setting, my new team or just diabetes itself I don't like. I have to say full time work is killing me. I know it's necessary and lots of other mums do it, and I know it's setting an example to my kids but I just miss those times with my kids. I'm sure that if  I was a stay at home mum I would be tearing my hair out - the grass is always greener after all. I really do miss the camaraderie of working in the hospital. It can be very, very lonely working in the community. If you're working clinics all you see sometimes are patients, and sometimes not even then when they don't attend! However, my new resolution is to try and see the positive side of things so I will try and get as much out of this experience as I can and see where it goes from there.


Very stressful time at the moment. Trying to juggle childcare for 2 boys alongside me working full time and Cory doing constant nights (or so it seems) and then he's also now in the 2nd year of his Masters degree - is a nightmare. Cory's completely stressed at the moment which is making him really ratty. I know in a couple of months it'll get better but it is very hard at the moment. Cory's finishing nights on Wednesday morning and then going straight to university for his course which usn't going to be good for him. I'm just trying to do as much as I can when I can at home and trying go keep the peace as much as possible.



I think I'm destined to never post this - this is my 3rd attempt lol!

I was thinking today about my new job and why I'm still slightly ambivalent towards it. It's been over 3 months now since I started. Everybody told me that when I started on community I would love it and would never want to go back to the hospitals. Maybe it's because I've worked almost 20 years in hospitals, but I do miss it sometimes even though I know it can be hell on earth sometimes. On paper this job is fantastic - progression towards a band 6 without having an interview, study days/courses without having to argue for them. Most likely I'll be doing my prescribing course next year and I can pretty much arrange my workload as I want (apart from the clinics and educational sessions of course). But I do find myself missing the companionship of the hospitals - sometimes I can go a couple of days without seeing anybody, although I know I can contact them on my phone. I have so many opportunities here - I've met GPs and other partners involved in the commissioning groups, and I know if I had any ideas for service redesign they'd be listened to.

I think a large part of it is that I am struggling like mad to adjust to full-time working. My one saving grace is that one day a week I get a 2.30pm finish so can pick Patrick up from school and feel like a proper mum. I feel so sorry for Jethro as I don't feel like I spend enough time with him, like I did with Patrick. Two days a week they go to nursery where Jethro stays and they take Patrick to school and pick him up, and the other days Cory looks after them. I feel guilty as well as Cory's stressed as he's on his second year of his Masters alongside looking after the kids and doing his own job as well. Because of the childcare commitments Cory mainly works weekends and on nights so we are a bit like ships that pass in the night.

Because of Cory working nights a lot of the weekends Patrick and Jethro go to one of their grandparents (they take it in turns) just so he can try and get some sleep. We have decided though that we also need to spend some quality time where possible, so on Saturday I'm going to take Patrick to a karate class in Wakefield. The plan being that Jethro can go to his grandparents on a Friday night, giving him some time with them by himself, and I'll take Patrick over on Saturdays. I have also told both sets of grandparents that now I'm working full-time there may be some weekends where we do keep them at home, especially if Cory's off so we can do something together.

It's such a juggling act sometimes, but hopefully we're getting there.


Just playing with my new app to see if it works.

Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.